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Book of Spells Curl up on the sofa and join the Hubbell Bubbell book group.... Want to talk about Films or Television.. feel free to do it here....

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  #221  
Old 07-05-2019, 01:58 PM
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Chris, SPOT ON. I really don't know how I felt about the whole fiasco either! Upset, clearly at the demise of Rhaegal the dragon, sooooo upset about Ghost when Jon just left him without saying goodbye!! But lets face it, Ghost will be a lot better off without him!!

I cannot STAND Barbie, stupid bliddy woman!!! I just knew something bad was going to happen to that dragon. And as for Cersei, I could just slap that smug face right off her head!

Tyrion needs to wake up and smell the roses too!! Gah!!

Brienne, the poor love!! I hope the fans are right about Jaime Lannister going off to kill his sister & saying what he did to keep Ser Brienne out of danger but since when does she need saving?!! I'm sure she's perfectly capable of looking after herself, she's more of a man than Jaime Lannister will ever be that's for sure!!

But yes, it is like watching a train crash in slow mo!!

Excellent write up as always Chris!
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  #222  
Old 14-05-2019, 11:08 AM
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Well, I've watched it twice in the hope of getting my head around it and come to the conclusion that it's just not going to happen - the best I can come up with to summarise it overall is that Drogon the dragon had a lovely time!

It seemed to me that the writers decided to add a bit of extra spice to the proceedings by coming up with the stunning plan to change several of the main players' long-standing personalities - hence, Varys, who, by using his wits, has survived five kings, some potty, some just duplicitous, one (Joffrey Baratheon) a psychotic murderer, is brought to ruin by Tyrion.

Yes - Tyrion - you remember - the one whose life was saved by Varys spiriting him away from his death sentence in King's Landing concealed in a packing crate? The same Tyrion who was once one of my favourite characters dobbed Varys in to Barbie the Unburnt for 'treason' - i.e. spreading the word that Jon Snow/Aegon Targaryan is the true heir to the Iron Throne.

Varys didn't get a trial - all he got was Tyrion and the rest of the c*ckstruck men standing around and looking a bit sad while the newly-mad Barbie recited all of her self-given titles then instructed Drogon to roast poor Varys - which he duly did.

You could tell that she'd gone mad as the other characters kept saying she had and besides, she hadn't done her hair or put any slap on - otherwise, from an acting point of view, apart from a pantomime ferocious expression, she looked just the same to me.

Another one with a pantomime ferocious expression was the hilariously-named 'Greyworm' - unfortunately, his set and angry facial expression bore more than a passing resemblance to Mr. Bean.

Who'd have thunk that Missandei, Barbie's best 'yes woman' and Greyworm's sort of lover, was a being of such importance? The execution of Ned Stark only started a war, the execution of Missandei was apparently worth a widespread massacre of the innocents.

And what did the King of Nothing and Nowhere have to say about his auntie's lunatic plans - sigh - he just repeated the only line he's had since 'that' night on the boat - 'Aah luv 'er'!

Crashing on, Tyrion freed Jaime Lannister who'd - yet again - got himself taken prisoner, and sent him on his way to Cersei, begging him to persuade her to escape with him with the help of Ser Davos and to instruct someone to ring the city bells to signal King's Landing's surrender.

Oh, Tyrion - why, once GRR Martin's proper, well-crafted story petered out, did the writers decide to make you into such an idiot?

Anway, off they all went as thousands of the common people fled to the relative safety of King's Landing, Jon et al by land, Barbie by dragon. I'd be a liar if I didn't say that I thoroughly enjoyed the torching of the Iron Fleet, particularly the bit where Popeye the Pirate had to leap in to the ocean to escape a fiery death.

Drogon, who'd obviously been practising aerial gymnastics and avoiding sharp missiles, whizzed up and down, setting fire to everything floating in sight, then turned his attention to the Golden Company who were outside the gates of King's Landing staring down the combined forces of Unsullied and Dothraki. At this point, he looked a very happy dragon indeed.

Poor Cersei, who is possibly the best actress in the entire show, and whose script for this final series probably fitted on to one side of A4, looked in disbelief at Qyburn as, in reply to her observation that all it would take would be one lucky shot to kill the dragon, gently told her that all the Scorpion weapons were destroyed and the Iron Fleet was burning in the harbour.

Meanwhile, as the Lannister army surrendered and the church bells rang out, the Hound and Arya, and Jaime, were making their various ways to the Red Keep. Jaime stopped for a quite unnecessary - and quite boring - fight with Urine Greyjoy, the Pop-Eyed Pirate on the way - he killed Pop-Eye in the end, but, even though he'd sustained a mortal wound himself, managed to stroll on in search of his twin sister.

Arya and the Hound were also in search of Cersei, and, in perhaps the only tender moment of the episode, he told her to go home or risk ending up like him, a whole life ruined by his relentless determination to revenge himself on his brother. It was as if her 'assassin' mask was torn away and she was 'Arya' again, and as he walked away to his doom and she turned to leave, she called him by his given name 'Sandor' and thanked him. It doesn't sound much, but it was lovely.

If she'd waited two minutes she'd have met Cersei, scarpering away from the long-awaited (by some fans) Cleganebowl! Having disposed of Qyburn with one blow, the Mountain lumbered down to the Hound and the fight began
*sigh* I'm probably in a minority of one here, but it was just - erm - silly, and all I could think of was that scene in Monty Python with the Black Knight who kept on insisting that his arms and legs being chopped off were 'only flesh wounds'.

Anyway, each with a variety of mortal wounds, they eventually fell from the battlements into a fiery inferno - hold on - fiery inferno?

Well, yes - because Barbie the Unburnt, despite the church bells ringing out and the army surrendering, had decided to continue to incinerate every single man, woman and child in King's Landing! We knew she'd gone mad because she had her mad face on, and Greyworm, not one to be left out, also had his mad face on and was busily spearing everyone fleeing from the fire.

Jon Snow and Tyrion both just stood there, gazing skywards and watching Drogon destroy one huge building after another and roast the crowds fleeing the narrow streets, wearing matching expressions of stupidity and disbelief.

Meanwhile, Arya was running for her life, and Jaime and Cersei were trapped in the collapsing Red Keep - their final scene was quite poignant and well acted, but, but, but - I've tried but I can't forgive him for Brienne, so I didn't really care a bit when the roof came down on them.

And finally - it all got a bit Biblical - Arya, lying among the rubble covered in grey ash and looking quite dead, suddenly woke up, bruised, bleeding and battered and looked around her - and -

"And I (she) looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him." John the Revelator 6:2-8

The last scene was her riding the pale horse out of the remains of King's Landing, hell for leather - I think she's bound for Winterfell to warn Sansa to break out the fireproof suits!

Overall? I hated it - as a mindless 'horror' spectacular, it was astonishing - as a fitting end for favourite characters, good and bad, it was abysmal.

Sorry! :
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  #223  
Old 14-05-2019, 02:53 PM
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A damp squib by the sound of it. How and WHY does one change character personalities - 'because I can'? This series should be going out with such a bang it would rock not only Winterfell but Milton Keynes too. I hope the last episode comes good.
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  #224  
Old 15-05-2019, 11:04 PM
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Couldn't agree more Chris!!
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  #225  
Old 21-05-2019, 02:52 PM
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And finally, our watch is over - erm - well it is for some of us, for others their watch has just recommenced! Puzzled - read on ...

After 8 series and 73 episodes, I'm left with these overall impressions:-

Barbie the Unburnt has the acting skills of a muffin.

Jon Snow is the biggest eejit on the planet - a fact pointed out in Season 2 by Ygritte when she told him, "You know nothing Jon Snow!"

Even a worm will turn and in the last two episodes Mr Greyworm Bean has assumed an importance diametrically opposed to his seven seasons spent as a mere spear carrier.

A Small Council comprising a smuggler, a sellsword, an unqualified Grand Maester and a heartbroken lady knight will, even with the undoubted skills of Tyrion the last Lannister, never prosper.

Let's start at the very beginning - first of all, Arya's mad gallop on the pale horse signified - nothing at all. The episode opened with Tyrion walking through a mass of ash and burned bodies until he bumped into Jon Snow who was wearing his trademark just-smacked-on-the-head-with-a sandbag- expression.

The presence of Jon, Tyrion and Arya did little to quell the zeal of Greyworm Bean who, despite their muted protests, was happily slashing the throats of the soldiers who had surrendered. His excuse was that they were enemies of his queen, bliddy crazy Barbie.

Sighing deeply, Tyrion trudged on, scaling mountains of rubble and moving a few bricks until he found the bodies of his brother and sister, still locked in each other's arms. He's such a great actor, he brought a tear to my eye.

Meanwhile, back at the ruins of King's Landing, Barbie and Drogon made a dramatic appearance and she made a speech uneasily reminscent of one of Hitler's at a Nuremburg rally to the hundreds of thousands of Unsullied and Dothraki lined up before her. Eh - hundreds of thousands - where the f--k did they come from? I thought they were mostly decimated at Winterfell - perhaps those responsible for this morass of lunacy had forgotten that!

Crashing on, Tyrion, sickened, resigned as her Hand and threw his little badge of office away, then was dragged off accused of treason. Arya told Jon Snow to watch himself, that Barbie was clearly barmy and intent on torching all of Westeros and as the real heir to the Iron Throne, she'd probably torch him first. He assumed a pained expression, the sort you get when you can't remember if you left the gas on or not and stared after Barbie as she swanned off in search of the Iron Throne.

He visited Tyrion - under sentence of death as per - and Tyrion told him the same thing, adding that she'd kill everyone in Westeros to get her own way and that she had to be stopped and only he could do it. Jon looked vaguely constipated and wandered off.

Meanwhile, Barbie had found the Iron Throne - still miraculously intact - she sat on it, giving us the trademark smirk, then Jon appeared and tried to reason with her and she more or less told him what Ygritte had said so many seasons ago. Assuring her that he'd love her forever, he knifed her - hooray, huzzah, finally - and she fell down dead, make up and hair intact, no change of expression.

He stood there like a fool, then Drogon, waking from a well-deserved nap, appeared. He's a clever creature that dragon, first he incinerated the Iron Throne to molten metal, then picked up Barbie's body and flew slowly off, clearly thinking, "My work here is done - you're in the clear, mate, and I have snack for the journey. Now for some real dragon-ing!"

Now - if I'd been Jon Snow I'd have been grateful to Drogon for having the sense to remove the evidence and burst out of the Throne Room, waving furiously at the departing dragon and shouting 'Dany - Dany - come back - don't leave us!' Then I'd have (brokenly) told all and sundry that she was so distraught by what she'd done, she'd taken off on Drogon and would never return, but that if the Unsullied and Dothraki wanted to meet up with her again, they could find her somewhere beyond the Eastern Sea.

Not him - there's too much Ned Stark in that boy - presumably he confessed and was arrested - we'll never know because the next scene appeared to be in Springtime with much of King's Landing well on its way to being repaired.

The Lords and Ladies of Westeros were seated in a circle to 'try' Tyrion and Jon Snow for treason. How did that happen - did they just fancy a trip to King's Landing and all turn up at the same time?

Anyway, they were all present and correct and Greyworm Bean (what - him again) was presenting the evidence according to him - agains Tyrion, thankfully not executed off camera. I think even the pair of numpties who wrote this rubbish realised that to kill off the best actor would leave them floating up the river of excrement with no available aid to propulsion.

As always, Tyrion was exceptional - and apart from a somewhat comic turn from Edmure Tully (Who?) trying to claim the throne and Samwell Tarly causing much laughter in the ranks of the nobles present by suggesting a democracy, the long afternoon wore on.

I'd scarcely turned to the hubba and said, "Thank the gods old and new for Tyrion' when I had to eat my words when he suggested bliddy Bran the Boring, first of his name, Noted Personality-free Zone as the new king of Westeros.

Did everyone fall around laughing - no - they actually agreed with him, apart from Sansa who nipped in quickly and said that the North should be a separate kingdom. Hmmm - I wonder who she thinks should rule it, grasshoppers?

Thwarted, Greyworm Bean insisted that Jon Snow be executed instead - but King Bran the Broken, in a decision which made me roll my eyes so violently, I feared for a moment they would remain raised forever, decided to condemn Jon to - a lifetime in the Night Watch!

He's supposed to know everything, the old Branipedia - how does he not know there is no bliddy Night Watch left!

Oh, who cares - Brienne lovingly wrote up Jaime's adventures in the White Book, Arya sailed off into the West - hmmm - she might meet some Elves and Bilbo and Frodo - Pod's a knight now - Sansa got what she's been wanting since Episode 1, Season 1 and was crowned Queen in the North - and the fool Jon Snow who might as well have stayed where he was all along, went back to Castle Black.

Ah well, at least Thormund was there and dear little Ghost who finally got the hugs and cuddles he deserved - he'd lost a lug in the battle, poor baba, and perhaps the Night Watch is the best place for Jon Snow/Aegon Targaryan - he can be as miserable as he likes there and nobody will care while they have Thormund to laugh with!

Phew - and that's it - our watch is over - thanks to Andrea, Linda and Ange for your comments - and thanks to the hundreds of search engines which have made this thread so massive!
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Last edited by Lucia : 21-05-2019 at 11:25 PM.
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  #226  
Old 21-05-2019, 05:24 PM
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Chris, thank you so much for taking the time to write this and saving me from being an utter pariah in work

I watched a couple of episodes of the very first series but just don't have the patience you have, plus your write ups are infinitely better than BtU cardboard performances. I've loved every minute of the journey you took us on and feel that there are many disappointed fans who would far rather have seen a final series written by you than the one they ultimately saw.

Ta muchly
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  #227  
Old 21-05-2019, 05:56 PM
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Life just won't be the same...

Just to say a huge thank you Chris! For your patience when I got it all mixed up and for writing such great critiques! Maybe Sky will finally share, so the rest of us can see it!?

I'm sorry to say this but, to me (other opinions ARE available) it sounded like the makers had lost the way during the last 2 episodes. Why oh why did they decide to completely change the ending?

Saying that it has been an adventure! 🐲👑🐺
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  #228  
Old 21-05-2019, 09:11 PM
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Bravo Chris! You put it so brilliantly! Barbie finally got what she deserved and the whole episode was a snooze fest after that! I did have a tear in my eye for Tyrion and when Ghost reappeared, other than that I thought 'what the heck?' I just feel it deserved a much better ending than that but hey ho.

Thanks for all your fabuwrite ups Chris, they have been thoroughly entertaining! xx
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